Three Ways to Love an Addict

For those of us who have a loved one with an addiction to alcohol or drugs, there are some very significant ways to help them without trying to “Fix” them. In co-dependency, we always try to fix the problem, fix the hurt, or fix the person, but can we … Really? The answer is no, which brings us to the first way to love an addict …b3f5c2a6bba5bf654ee56c521cadcaa9

  1. Stop trying to fix things. Your loved one and his or her addiction is something you have no control over. Trying to fix it will lead to YOUR insanity.  Instead of trying to fix the addict, fix yourself.  Yep! I know!  Many years ago, I picked up a book by Stormie O’Martian called “Power of a Praying Wife!”  I was going to pray my husband into sobriety! On the first couple of pages of that book, the words clearly said it was ME who needed to change.  What?  You have to be kidding!  I threw the book across the room. It broke the window blinds, hit the wall, and on the floor it sat for few days, until I gained the courage to change the things I can, starting with me.  This was a great place to begin to love my husband again.
  2. Get out-of-the-way! Every addict needs an enabler.  An addict simply cannot continue to use without one.  Enabling prevents consequences of one’s actions and bad decisions.  An enabler makes excuses and justifies the loved one’s behavior, even if they assume the blame in the process. In order to love your addict, set some strong, personal boundaries, and stop getting in God’s way of the teaching through negative consequences.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I love to color with my granddaughter who is almost 3 years old.  I make a beautiful picture with lots of color, and I stay inside the lines … perfection! My granddaughter decides she wants to help me with my picture. To make it even prettier, she grabs a big black crayon and within seconds, makes huge scribbles across my masterpiece.  Don’t we do the same thing to God’s masterpiece when we decide to help?
  3. See through God’s eyes. Are you perfect? Of course, you are not.  Does God love you anyway? Of course He does. God loves your addict, too!  Just like you, He created your addict with special gifts, talents and purpose.  Discover those and focus on them.  Stop dwelling on the negatives.  See your loved one as God sees them and love them unconditionally the way He loves us.  This may do nothing for your addict, but it will go a long way in softening your heart to your situation.  With your heart in the right condition, don’t be surprised when your addict responds positively.  Do not give up before the miracle happens.
About the author:  Judy Walters draws on her past with her own powerful testimony to inspire and equip audiences in recovery from issues like addiction, co-dependency, abuse and low self-esteem. Her favorite thing is teaching, whether at the pulpit or in the classroom. She strongly conveys the healing nature of Christ through the Celebrate Recovery materials combined with knowledge from The Alpha Series materials by Pastor John Glenn. She is the Celebrate Recovery of Boynton Beach Ministry Leader. She provides administration, marketing, social media, event planning, donor development, customer service and public relations for Faith Farm as the ministry’s Project Manager.
As a mother of four with a former real estate career spanning 25 years, she has many stories and life lessons worth sharing. Redirection of her passion has led her to become a licensed minister and a counselor with compassion and a powerful message of hope for those who struggle with life controlling issues. She has a genuine love for ALL of God’s people and cherishes diversity. She is a friendly and enthusiastic disciple with a mission to show others what agape love looks like. Her goal is to remove the stereotype and preconceived stigma of addiction and recovery by showing others that recovery from life’s hurts, habits and hang-ups can be fun and even fruitful. “People in recovery for any life controlling issues are the strongest, bravest and most transparent people I know, and I admire their courage.”
Judy is a member of Faith Farm Ministries’ Academic Board serving as the Board Secretary. She serves on the Board of Directors for the Oceanside Emmaus community and is a published author,  copy writer and editor. Audiences are sure to have valuable take-a-ways when Judy is the presenter.
Learn more about Judy | Request Judy


I often ask myself, has the time I spent living my life made any difference? Will the world be changed because of me?  Will it be better?  Did I significantly impact the life of others?  Will anyone even know I was here a year from now? How about twenty, fifty, even a hundred years from now?

We should want to know that our lives had a positive effect on the planet or humanity and improved life for the next generations. King David tells us in Psalms 139 that we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  Psalm 20:4 says, “May He grant you according to your heart’s desire, And fulfill your purpose.”

Legacy is a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, by will or a bequest. A legacy is anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor.  It is tangible evidence of our existence after we’re gone.  It is the ONLY way we continue to make a lasting and meaningful difference for those who come after us.

With an opportunity for you to experience the joy of your purposed legacy, Faith Farm Ministries is a 64 year old Rescue Mission with three campuses providing food, housing, work training, high school and college education, spiritual training and more for men and women who have lost control of their lives due to alcohol and/or drug addiction.  Faith Farm is “good soil” to sow into!

“An amazing place of hope and restoration!  I owe not only my life but my eternal soul to the guidance that I was provided.  My life is now an amazing journey . . . There is no place like Faith Farm.  I will be forever grateful that God led me there.” ~Roldan

Roldan is one of thousands restored through Faith Farm’s program.  The societal problem of addiction knows no boundaries, destroys lives, families and communities. Here’s some ideas to help you make a lasting legacy:

  • Establish an annual scholarship in your name that will help save lives.
  • Fund our many educational opportunities including, work training, GED or College credit program.
  • Fund much needed equipment in our Farm Operations, Kitchens, or route trucks.
  • Fund capacity growth with naming rights to help more people as the need continues to be greater.

According to SAMHSA 2014 statistics, 27.2% of the nations’s population uses illicit drugs.  That’s 1 in 4 people in your family or workplace uses drugs … it’s not the addict’s fault that they cannot stop using.  I don’t know anyone who ever used a drug that had the goal of becoming an addict.  Addiction is a brain disease and it affects people you know.

Faith Farm is the safe, loving, non-judgmental place used by God to help save the lost, hurting and broken people who struggle with addiction.  We try to provide all the tools necessary and remove any obstacles to the student’s success.  It is not enough to simply achieve sobriety.  Students must change their thinking, establish strong biblical foundation and embrace a healthy recovery lifestyle.

This place saved my life! Body, Soul, and Spirit…       ~Tom

I hope you’ll visit their website at to learn more or call my friend, the Director of Development & Programs, Wayne Richardson (561) 737-2259.  He can tailor a legacy program to meet your giving goals.

Blessings to you,

Judy Walters

What’s Your “Popeye Moment” … Efficiency vs Effectiveness

I like to consider myself to be a very efficient person.  I’m an expert at multi-tasking and consistently juggle many activities at once. Sometimes I find a couple two or three dozen Windows open on my computer all at once and I work efficiently! Efficiency is doing things right! However, Effectiveness is doing the right things.  One can be so busy being efficient … that they fail to be effective.

Effectiveness is directly related to passion. What is your passion?  What condition, situation or cause drives you to sadness or anger?  What breaks your heart? What drives you to want change?  Bill Hybels, Senior Pastor at Willow Creek Church, defines that one thing in your life as your Popeye moment” … that moment when you say to yourself, “I can’t stands it no more!!!”  I can recall that Popeye always did things right.  He was quite an efficient sailor.  He also puts up with a lot of abuse from Brutus UNTIL Popeye’s own “Popeye Moment.”  The sailor man has had enough when he says, “I can’t stands it no more.” Then, he eats his spinach, grows huge muscles, and proceeds to let Brutus have it with both anchors.  And, he wins the heart of Olive Oil … toot, toot!!!  I’d say he became effective!

There are many world issues that can break our hearts:  child abuse, animal abuse, environmental issues, human trafficking political issues, senior citizens, 3rd world plights, homelessness, Alzheimer Disease, cancer, heart disease, mental illness  or a plethora of other diseases.

In my own life, the pain resulting from addiction and co-dependency in my own family was my “I can’t stands it no more” moment.  I went from being busy as an efficient real estate broker to being effective at Faith Farm Ministries.  I use ALL of my experience and talents that I have accumulated throughout my long career and apply it to my passion for helping people overcome life controlling issues so that they, too, may live effectively.  I can honestly say that I LOVE my work.  It is not like work at all when you love what you do.

Faith Farm Ministries is a 64 year old, free, long term, residential drug and alcohol recovery program for men and women.  Three locations provide an intense, college accredited recovery curriculum, a comprehensive work training program, spiritual guidance and counseling.

I am also blessed to lead a Celebrate Recovery group at Faith Farm in Boynton Beach on Friday nights.  This is a 12 Step program that is accessible to the students as well as their families, alumni of Faith Farm, and the community members that have struggles with any life controlling issues.

My passion for what I do translates into my effectiveness for those I serve.  Passion allows your life to take on meaning, purpose and effectiveness. I used to be very efficient, busy … and unhappy.  Today, I have purpose, effectiveness, joy and peace that surpasses my understanding.

What’s your “Popeye Moment?”

Nobody does “Thrift” like Faith Farm

For the last 7 years, I have been blessed to work at Faith Farm Ministries. Working in the Administration Offices, it’s always a treat to take a break and visit the Thrift Store, and I am always amazed when I do. Nobody does “Thrift” like Faith Farm. 20150612_091412Every time I enter the store, it is fresh and different.  The New Furniture department is filled with staged ensembles of beautiful new furniture, complete with fireplaces, lamps, tables, art and floral centerpieces.  The used furniture area has new choices every visit, whether one day or one week apart.  During a “Big Sale” at Faith Farm, inventory changes hourly.20150612_085912I am amazed at the deals in the clothing room with lighted jewelry display cabinets, hat and shoe displays and mannequins featuring party dresses and wedding attire.  It looks more like a boutique.  20150612_085642Quite a few visits have resulted in found treasure in the form of brand new designer suits with the tags still on them!  … YEAH!20150612_085557New books, art and collectibles come in every day; electronics, computers, appliances, sporting goods, medical equipment … all your needs at prices anyone can afford.  The outside sales area is a rummage lover’s dream.  I am amazed at how friendly everyone is and how hard everyone works.20150612_090356What amazes me most is that after 64 years, many of our shoppers still do not know that they are saving lives by shopping at a Faith Farm Thrift Store.  We are so much more than a Thrift Store.  When you shop with us, you are supporting our 9 month residential, college accredited, drug and alcohol addiction recovery program.  Simply put, your shopping dollar saves the lives of those that are serving you through their work training program in our Thrift Stores!  Visit us and you will be amazed, too! Our “Red Hot Summer Sale” is August 7 & 8, with extended hours from 9 am to 8 pm both days.  Also, every Wednesday is “Senior Day” when our 55+ year old customers can receive an additional 25% off any item, excluding new furniture.  Bring your friends, have some fun, and save a life, too!

Celebrate Recovery Boynton returns to Faith Farm Ministries

crboynton_0001So Excited to announce that CR Boynton will be returning to Faith Farm Ministries at Boynton Beach together with much of its original, experienced team members.

There has been a lot of requests for CR to return to Faith Farm over the past year and now it’s happening.

Friday night meetings will begin June 19th at 7 pm.  This is a Faith Tabernacle Church outreach ministry and Pastor Jim Reneau will be a crucial part of the leadership team and supports this outreach 100%.  The weekly gatherings are open to the public and will help anyone with hurts, habits and hang-ups.

Celebrate Recovery is not just for addicts.  Help is available for those who struggle with co-dependency, anger, depression, abuse issues, forgiveness, eating disorders, gambling, pornography, self-esteem and integrity issues.  Faith Farm students will benefit with the ministry present, but student’s families are also encouraged to participate and use this weekly opportunity to share the program with their loved one and receive recovery for themselves.  Addiction is a family issue and is rooted in many other issues.

We look forward to welcoming back old CR Boynton friends and team members and all the new folks that will be attending.

If you are interested in serving in this great ministry, please contact Judy Walters, Ministry Leader via email

I Can’t … But He Can!

Remember the story about “The Little Engine That Could?”  After all, it’s a 1930’s children’s’ classic authored by Watty Piper and illustrated by George and Doris Hauman.  Its valuable story was intended to teach the value of optimism and hard work.   My parents took the lesson a step further by teaching me that I wasn’t to say the word, “Can’t!”  They encouraged me to believe I could do anything and be anything I wanted to be.  I would simply have to work hard and set my mind to it.  I grew up as an over achiever that believed it was wrong to ask anyone for any help with anything.

I now know that this theory is defective.  News Flash:  TV’s Cleavers and Nelsons were pretend.  We do not live in a utopia where everyone believes in themselves and everyone does the next right thing. On the contrary, in the REAL world there is a status quo most people, including me, are exposed to called dysfunction.

Today’s American families are complacent to dysfunction, like today’s Kardashians and the Octomom. If “Middle of the Room” elephants are in plain sight for all to see, I wonder what their “Family Secrets” might be!  Dysfunction is a funny thing. Everybody is exposed to it, yet it remains undetected until the damage is done because many are in denial about it!  If you think you’re the exception, there’s a great 12 Step program just for you.

Am I part of a minority that is not satisfied with this status quo?  I don’t like this “New Normal.”  Somehow, we need to get back to wanting to “doing the next right thing.”  I am not so old that I don’t remember my own family’s dysfunction.  I struggled for many years to get my family back on track.  I convinced myself by saying, “I can do this! I can fix this! I am strong like the Rock of Gibraltar!” Being taught that I can do anything is a fallacy, because I can’t.  I can do nothing without the strength of God.  Things don’t happen because people believe they can. Things happen when people know, they can’t, but He can!  And then, people need to make the choice to let Him!

I am privileged to work and serve at Faith Farm Ministries; a 63 year old, free, long-term residential, addiction recovery program.  In the last 5 years, we have students from 47 of the 50 states at our three South Florida locations with 445 beds.  Our residents struggle with substance abuse caused by dysfunction:  Dysfunction that led to self medicating through the use of drugs and/or alcohol, thus multiplying the dysfunction that they were trying to suppress in the first place.  It’s a vicious cycle.

No one sets out to become an addict. They are convinced they CAN quit on their own, but addiction sneaks up on them.  Many have been in multiple rehabs before coming to Faith Farm without successfully maintaining their sobriety.  Through the recovery program at Faith Farm, all of the dysfunction is addressed, unsuppressed and surrendered to God; because He can … and He does!  It truly is amazing to see what restoration God can do when you can’t!  If you know of anyone who struggles with addiction, Faith Farm’s recovery program may be an option.  If you can help support our free program, you can make a gift at our website:; call (561) 737-22559 or send an email to


Love to share my new recorded sermon on Discipleship.  Would love to have your feedback.  Thanks!